I remember seeing a Reality TV show in which an executive coach had come in to a small business to fix the business owner’s communication problems with her employees. He immediately started out by saying to her, “I want you to listen to the things your employees have to say.” I want you to consider their feelings.” He said this directly to her in front of her employees!
This coach made a huge error, in my mind, because the owner hadn’t been included in the decision to do this in a public forum. The coach tried to enforce change before he had permission to do so. What a coach wants from you is meaningless and should never position what you should do in this way. I continued to watch this fiasco unfold — the owner seemed overwrought with stress; her face red, her voice tight — she was the opposite of open, flexible and cool. As she listened to a few criticisms of her, she not only shut down, but became so closed-off that she got up and walked away. Nothing was accomplished.
An executive coach is supposed to be the ally of the executive, and should never provoke an employee-employer intervention unless as planned and executed with the boss.
Your coach should be masterful in communicating all of the benefits to you of changing, growing and challenging yourself. Your coach should be supporting your growth based on your needs and work with you on a timeline, budget and plan of action for your goals to be reached. S/he should provide leadership based in personal experiences and proof of success that has resulted from a particular expertise.
Coaches should ‘walk-the-walk’ in their own lives in order to effectively motivate others. I once personally knew someone who was getting a certification as a sex therapist who hadn’t had sex in 20 years and hadn’t been successful in having a loving relationship in all that time. I couldn’t get over the hypocrisy of that!
I also know an executive coach who refuses to work through her fear of presenting. She knows it limits her ability to generate business and express key information, but she defers to her fear. How can she help an executive with a fear of presenting see the value of pushing himself out of his comfort zone? She doesn’t have to be a presentation coach, she just has to know from experience that the fear doesn’t have to win! Coaches are at their best when they are working to overcome their own resistance to things that will yield good results.
Interview coaches before you hire them. Here are some things to look for:
1. LISTEN. Listen to how he or she communicates with you. Is s/he asking questions that show genuine interest in you and the ability to understand your needs? Do you feel heard? Is s/he speaking in terms of your needs? Are you clear about how this coaching method ties back to your outcome?
2. LOOK. Sit down with this coach and observe signs of non-verbal communication. How’s the eye contact, tone of voice and body language? Does he or she have the image and attitude of someone who engenders your trust and respect? Your gut is your best friend. This is why a test session or interview before you sign an agreement is critical.
3. ASK QUESTIONS. Find out what challenges s/he has overcome. Ask questions about his/her journey and how it led to becoming a coach. Ask about the training history, methodology, and proof of credentials.
4. ANALYZE FEES. You have to decide what your budget is and discuss with your coach what the scope of the work together is expected to be. If your gut tells you that this person or service is not worth the price, then you have to decide if you have found the right coach. Is this coach forcing you to sign a long-term contract that would cost you thousands before you’ve had a first test session? Do you feel pressured to lock-in sessions at a wildly reduced rate? Is there a fair cancellation policy or at least a mutually agreeable non-cancellation policy? Have you spoken with prior clients about their return on investment with this individual?
5. AGREE BEFORE YOU SIGN. Before you sign-up for a long process, you must have your coach set reasonable expectations for your development and outline the areas you will be addressing as you progress towards your goals. For example, if you want to improve upon your presentation skills, be sure that this coach has expertise in this area vs. a coach who is expert in organizational design or team-building. Some coaches are skilled in addressing multiple functions, but be sure to discuss this ahead of time. The goal is that you feel in control and trust that this person is the right one for you.
Executive coaches are helping many people actualize their goals. There are so many good coaches out there and most of us have noble ideals as to why we’ve chosen this consultative role. We’ve mostly been in your shoes and have taken risks to deal with challenges head-on. We have cultivated our skills and are always motivated to grow. We feel our purpose is to help and be a role-model to others. But, you must do your due diligence to work with the ones that serve your interests and possess admirable, executive qualities.
Happy Learning!
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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