(Except when you are trying to prove that you aren’t inadequate.)
Here’s what I mean: I went to a networking function recently and met a zealous young man breaking into the coaching business. He was a main presenter for the event and did a fine job, but when we chatted later, he said, “I didn’t do as well today as I normally do — in fact, most of the time I’m the best speaker at these events. I have awards to prove it.”
Bragging is a form of conceit, but more-so, a compensation for feeling less-than-zippy. I felt compassion for him (because I know what it feels like to under perform), and think he could benefit from learning techniques in one-on-one communicating. Other than that, I don’t want to forge a business connection with him.
The point is this: you must come from strength in order to communicate your strengths. It’s okay to want others to think highly of you, but let them make that assessment. Humility has a far more commanding presence, anyway! The goal is to be memorable in a positive way, to communicate your strengths quickly and to seek an opportunity for re-connection.
So, here’s how to humbly state and prove your strengths, while making an instant, positive, business connection:
1. Body language first: stand arms’ length apart, firmly shake (not break) hands, smile and make direct eye contact. Say, ‘hello!’ with enthusiasm.
2. Introduce yourself: slowly state your name, your company and your position, audibly enunciating every syllable.
2. Focus on the other person first: state something positive — comment on something you’ve seen, heard or read about this person’s body of work. If you know nothing, ask what he/she does and what his/her strengths are. You immediately want to show interest; this proves you have good people and networking skills and will get the other person asking all about you.
3. Ask what kind of help you can offer to the other person. This generosity will quickly make others perceive you as having true value, and create the opportunity to leverage yourself.
3. Now talk about you: say something to the effect of, “I’m expert in my field with ‘X’ years in the business and have ‘X’ accreditations, awards…”etc.
4. State one or two core strengths: these are qualities about you that you can back up with evidence. My example is: I help people improve their thinking and make positive impact upon others. My company is PointMaker Communications. I’m a professional development trainer and coach who specializes in both brain-based coaching (to facilitate improved thinking) and skills-based training– the art of interpersonal effectiveness and communication (public speaking, presenting, pitching, networking and one-on-one communicating). My accreditations come from Dale Carnegie Training and The NeuroLeadership Group (click on About Jackie Kellso to view my resume).
5. Show gratitude: thank the other person for his/her time, for listening and learning about you. Then ask to exchange cards and for permission to make contact.
Many people fear stating their strengths because they fear it will come off as bragging. But it isn’t. You have the right to feel good about the results of your hard work and your sharpened skills. You have the right to tell others that you are good at what you do. Your business depends on your ability to communicate effectively. And, when you let others discover you, they benefit from knowing you (or at the least know people who could use your services).
So remember — you must come from strength to successfully communicate your strengths.
Humbly yours,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
PointMaker Communications, Inc. 