Today I was sitting across from two mid-late 20s (maybe early 30s) business people – one male, one female, at a busy Starbucks in midtown. They were obviously meeting for the first time. They didn’t shake hands, although said, “Nice to meet you.” It took him a few minutes to look directly into her eyes, and he kept his arms crossed in front of him. To me, his body language was reflecting a lack of physical comfort; perhaps feelings of inadequacy. Or he’s just painfully shy. He worked for a popular digital tech company and she for some production or marketing agency. They were both strong representatives for their companies, knew their stuff, and I could tell, as the conversation ensued, that they were acutely listening to one another, asking each other great open-ended questions, and seemed off to a good start.
I noticed how rapidly they were both speaking. And, as a result, the amount of “likes” and other fillers kept floating in and out between most words with no necessity or apparent awareness. This happens when the brain can’t catch up with the thought and there’s no active mental editing going on. Instead of taking a pause to think, the words like, you know and um will be used to help the brain decide what to say. These people were in high gear to have a quick and effective conversation over coffee. But the feverish pace, along with the accepted conversational culture, caused the binge of ‘likes’ to flood into the conversation.
Example of what I overheard, verbatim: “So…like…you should consider a budget…like…you know…that will help your listeners…um…relate to your message.” See what I mean? The fillers were so distracting to me that if I had been one of the two, me being my actual age of 58, I would have wanted to speak to their senior managers instead of them. The issue is that the lack of verbal control creates the perception of that of a teenager, not a business professional. Plus to be frank, it’s annoying.
Look, if business is being conducted between Millennials and ‘likes’ aren’t in the way, why not? But my concern for Millennials is that if they are having conversations with senior management who might be older Gen Xers and Baby Boomers, or if they are entrepreneurs seeking angel investors and customers, the perception they might create could negatively impact their desired outcomes. This is so fixable! It’s about building self-awareness and skill in managing verbal pacing and control of one’s communications.
I hope that Millennials reading this will like and appreciate this article. I like helping them grow into their greatest potential and experience high-levels of success.
Jackie
PointMaker Communications, Inc. 