Bad Metaphors Can Kill a Conversation

There are many ways to skin a cat. We can kill two birds with one stone. I’d like to pick your brain. It’s a dog eat dog world. Don’t leave me hanging. We understand culturally what these metaphors represent, but have we considered that they reference violence?

Just last week a client of mine was explaining a training technique he uses for his students and explained how ‘there are many ways to skin a cat’ when it comes to teaching. I hadn’t heard that expression in a long time and I felt myself cringe. Being a cat lover – an animal lover – I immediately pictured a cat being skinned and cut him off. “Do you like cats?” I asked. “Yes, I love them,” he said. I replied, “Great, then think about that image for a second.” He laughed and said, “Wow, I never even thought about it.” Then he said, “Well, can I pick your brain about how to rephrase this?” YIPES! So I said, “Yes, you can ask me a question, and there are multiple ways to complete a task. How about those as examples?”

We have these sayings that are out-dated, but we use them without even thinking about it. Some may think me too sensitive, but my guess is that if we all stop and think about what we’re saying, and how others might react, we will stop using these phrases and explore new, safer ways of communicating.

Analogies, similes and metaphors are brilliant ways to ensure that our listeners understand our messages and their meanings. Just beware that some familiar sayings may leave people with a bad taste in their mouths.

Mindfully yours,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“It’s Like, Um, Like, You Know, Like.”

Today I was sitting across from two mid-late 20s (maybe early 30s) business people – one male, one female, at a busy Starbucks in midtown. They were obviously meeting for the first time. They didn’t shake hands, although said, “Nice to meet you.” It took him a few minutes to look directly into her eyes, and he kept his arms crossed in front of him. To me, his body language was reflecting a lack of physical comfort; perhaps feelings of inadequacy. Or he’s just painfully shy. He worked for a popular digital tech company and she for some production or marketing agency. They were both strong representatives for their companies, knew their stuff, and I could tell, as the conversation ensued, that they were acutely listening to one another, asking each other great open-ended questions, and seemed off to a good start.

I noticed how rapidly they were both speaking. And, as a result, the amount of “likes” and other fillers kept floating in and out between most words with no necessity or apparent awareness. This happens when the brain can’t catch up with the thought and there’s no active mental editing going on. Instead of taking a pause to think, the words like, you know and um will be used to help the brain decide what to say. These people were in high gear to have a quick and effective conversation over coffee. But the feverish pace, along with the accepted conversational culture, caused the binge of ‘likes’ to flood into the conversation.

Example of what I overheard, verbatim: “So…like…you should consider a budget…like…you know…that will help your listeners…um…relate to your message.” See what I mean? The fillers were so distracting to me that if I had been one of the two, me being my actual age of 58, I would have wanted to speak to their senior managers instead of them. The issue is that the lack of verbal control creates the perception of that of a teenager, not a business professional. Plus to be frank, it’s annoying.

Look, if business is being conducted between Millennials and ‘likes’ aren’t in the way, why not? But my concern for Millennials is that if they are having conversations with senior management who might be older Gen Xers and Baby Boomers, or if they are entrepreneurs seeking angel investors and customers, the perception they might create could negatively impact their desired outcomes. This is so fixable! It’s about building self-awareness and skill in managing verbal pacing and control of one’s communications.

I hope that Millennials reading this will like and appreciate this article. I like helping them grow into their greatest potential and experience high-levels of success.

Jackie

 Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Ask Jackie: How to Present Ideas Worth Spreading

Presentation tips for public speakers, presenters and Ted Talkers!  Here I demonstrate the techniques of drawing in an audience, holding their attention and creating a bond so that they will relate to you and embrace your message.

Please share this video with colleagues who would benefit.

Happy speaking,

Jackie