“Let’s have cawfee, we’ll tawk!” How many of us frequently grab that cup o’ Joe with a colleague, for that quick, yet productive meeting? A good idea unless the jazz, low lights and chocolate-y cupcakes encourage the conversation to spin out of control.
Recently, at a mid-town Starbucks, I overheard a man and woman (both of whom were wearing expensive-looking suits, holding the very latest Smartphones, and sipping double espressos) talk about the utter hatred they had for their boss, about how they weren’t earning enough commission and how when the market got better they would both look for other jobs. She said, “Bill, I can’t believe you feel this way, too!” He said, “Oh yeah, I’ve felt this way for years. Maybe it’s good to finally talk about it.” I thought, the only way either of them is going to be safe sharing this information with the other is if they are siblings or spouses. But they weren’t, because the woman discussed her plans to be with her family for Easter and the guy mentioned his fiance and their upcoming wedding. Before they got up, they agreed not to share each other’s feelings, and on terms for a client meeting for which they were teaming-up. I felt for them because the tension and strain of the work environment was affecting their morale, leading to this discussion.
Without even knowing it, this inappropriate sharing of feelings is likely to become the undoing of any real trust between them, over time. He could become her boss, she his. They could get a new boss whom she likes but he doesn’t. You just never know how circumstances will change.
Having a cup of coffee with a colleague can enhance a good working relationship because those few moments away from the daily numbers-crunching grind to have a rich, aromatic daily grind, can inspire open communication, information sharing and improved negotiations. That being said, the step out of the office can also loosen one’s inhibitions and potentially jeopardize work relations.
This is why conference rooms were built. People don’t typically conspire to blow-up the boss or talk about their job interviews or affairs after a meeting has ended. No one can fault you for wanting to be the consummate professional. So, here are some tips to keep yourself on track and in the mind-set of doing business when out of the office:
1. Be the listener. In case your associate is mouthing off, you can nod your head to show understanding and sympathy without engaging in the negativity. Tell your partner that you are sorry to hear about these problems, but that you don’t feel you are in a position to discuss the situation. Suggest that an impartial, third party be consulted for support.
2. Start talking about the business at hand. Gently drive your partner back to the thing you came to discuss by asking for input and suggestions.
3. Openly watch the time. Say something to the effect of, “I only have another 10 minutes, what haven’t we covered?”
4. Confirm your neutrality. As you are leaving, wish your associate a peaceful resolution and reaffirm your interest in working on this and future projects together.
It is so tempting to gossip when you feel you have found someone who sides with you. But there is tremendous danger in engaging in conspired negativity, and from my experience, ALL gossip leaks, even among friends. So, take the high road; you may even encourage the gossip to end.
Happy communicating,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I’m a Baby Boomer, born in 1959, and I’ve had this experience. I was once VP of a sales department, having been overlooked for the open SVP slot. A woman, 10 years my junior, became my boss. I immediately read what I thought was fear in her eyes and I did what I could to show that I supported her. For several months she kept telling me, “You’re great! What would I do without you?” Then at around the three month mark, she fired me. Not based on my performance, not because I was acting out against her. I asked her point blank, “Why?” and her response? “You’re not a fit.” You can imagine what that felt like!
Not all younger boss scenarios end badly, although they may be challenging. If you’re currently reporting to someone who’s your junior, and there’s tension around this reality, then this article’s for you.
Here you are, sharp as ever, valuable as hell, and watching your peers leave (voluntarily or by being pushed out). Inevitably, you are wondering what’s going to happen to you and your job. Plus, you have this younger person as your boss. From your perspective, you might be tolerating what you see as the bumps and blunders your manager goes through to gain respect and be an effective leader (only to show signs of vulnerability and feelings of inadequacy). Just think of how threatening it must feel to manage someone older than yourself!
You may be observing that he or she likes to run things a bit loosely. This person is likely to want more contact via email and text and less in-person contact. Your manager might be in a state of unconscious incompetence (which is another term for, not knowing what we don’t know) and may think your view on leadership is antiquated.
The truth is, good leadership is ageless. That being said, your younger boss comes from a different era, and has generational tendencies for which you should be aware.
Here are some traits associated with our younger colleagues, the ones about whom I am referring. They likely born after 1975 and before 1987. (The full span of “Generation X” is 1965-1981 and of “Millennials” is 1982-2000).
Techno-literate
Grew up embracing diversity and informality
Want to achieve balance between fun and work
Self-reliant
Enjoy a lack of rigid structures
(*Source: The Generations, Gary Trotta’s Training Games, Inc.)
Some of these tendencies are a breath of fresh air! So, what to do when there’s a conflict or you feel critical of your boss’ ways? Try to see things from your boss’ perspective. Imagine you’re 30 again and people the age of your parents report to you. Threatening, maybe a little? Much to prove? There’s a really powerful interpersonal dynamic that can become an opportunity to show your ability to dance with change, with people of all ages, and with the demands of the job.
When you see them struggle, offer assistance without being obsequious, pedantic or passive-aggressive. Just be you with all of your experience and wisdom. Ask about your manager’s vision for the department and the role he or she sees you playing in it. Occupy your space with confidence. Show interest in your boss’ perspective and demonstrate respect. Become curious and enthusiastic about working together.
Besides, what are the options? Just walk away? Fight the system? Disregard the new manager’s responsibility for you? We Boomers have been through a lot and we know that change is inevitable.
If we can accept what’s happening, grow with it and be a role model of flexibility and integrity, we can lead our younger managers to victory.
Enjoy the ride,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Many people have been asking me lately about how not to overreact emotionally, aggressively or undiplomatically in a work environment when things go wrong (usually caused by someone else, of course!). People also want to know how to stop those unconscious non-verbal signals that tell the truth about what they are really feeling in the face of not being able to say it.
I have such a simple, yet excellent solution that it almost seems silly. But it works. It’s called, “Detach & Breathe.” It’s something I came up with to save myself in a highly stressful work environment years ago. I had been struggling with a manager for two years, battling over his way vs. my way. As a result, he had begun to cut me out of important decisions and it forced me to realize that my stubbornness was what had been hurting me. I had been so intent on being right that I had not allowed him to be ‘the boss.’ Lesson in letting go of having to be right, in the face of being smart!
One day, during a usual confrontation, I realized that I was battle-fatigued and had put my job into jeopardy. He had authority and that was that. I had to let go of the idea of protecting “my turf” and doing things my way, despite the fact that he didn’t know as much about my job as I. I said, “Rich, you know what, from now on, I will defer to you and I give you my word. I’m done fighting and I want to show you that I support you.”
I went into my office and wrote DETACH and BREATHE on post-its and placed them at eye level on my computer. For the next few weeks he’d tell me how and when to do something and before any response I would DETACH AND BREATHE and then say, “Yes.” Well, by the third week, he started giving me the latitude do just go ahead and do things my own way. He began to include me in decisions. He was done trying to capitalize on his authority because I had stopped fighting it.
So go ahead! It’s effective! Detach & Breathe when you:
1. Feel yourself getting angry, hurt, teary; if the emotion is intense and its display could hurt the perception of you.
2. Begin taking things personally, which is affecting your ability to think and act objectively.
3. Find you are struggling for power with a co-worker.
4. Want to condemn someone else and are ready to snap, yell or scream.
Besides, what else is there at this point? Quit, get fired or have a stroke?
Place the words DETACH and BREATHE on two separate post-it notes and have them visible at all times. Eventually the brain will automatically sound them off to you, but you must keep at it!
The only thing we are truly attached to is what we think and believe. We must first look deeply within to see how these attachments are negatively impacting how we react. Once we can detach, we are free. I mean really free.
Sympathetically yours,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
If you think about the concept of professional reputation, when was the last time you wondered: do my colleagues see how honorable, compassionate and humble I am? We generally don’t lose any sleep over this. There’s no cultural need to compete when it comes to character. Now, that’s not true when it comes to personality. Have you ever felt competitive or even inadequate around others whom you see as being more charismatic, dynamic and magnetic than you?
Traits associated with character: integrity, compassion, generosity, humility, fairness, etc. Traits associated with personality: charisma, dynamism, poise, magnetism, attractive, etc. The questions are: which one creates the right reputation, and which one will help us move ahead in our chosen professions?
I came upon an interesting article written by Reputation.com’s CEO, Michael Fertik, entitled, “We Just Hired a Chief People Officer (Why you should too).” In it he describes the importance of the move to drive the values of the company through its people. I love this idea because it’s a charge he’s putting upon his employees to sustain a ‘culture of character’.
Susan Cain, in her book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking,” spends a full chapter on “The Rise of the Mighty Likable Fellow,” which delves into the shift in the late 1800s from a “Culture of Character” (a term coined by cultural historian, Warren Susman) to an early 20th century, “Culture of Personality.”
Ms. Cain’s book discusses how the industrial revolution caused the shift in ideology as a result of people moving from quiet country-life into growing cities at the turn of the 20th century. To find work, they had to compete. They had to stand out. And so, who among the great heroes should emerge out of this shift? Mr. Dale Carnegie. He became the expert in how to be liked, how to persuade, how to gain the attention of others; to thrive in urban life. Timing being perfect for such skills, Mr. Carnegie launched his first public speaking course in 1912 at the YMCA in Harlem, New York!
Susan Cain writes that Mr. Carnegie was a self-help “Culture of Personality” guru, and I can understand why that is true. As an emerging leader of methods that helped people compete, get jobs, keep up with the Joneses, they needed winning personalities. I am also compelled to add that he was a very powerful proponent of the importance of character. His book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” was a user’s manual and the title fulfills its promise. However, if you carefully read his 30 Human Relations Principles, (the foundation for the book’s material) they speak to character. Here’s a sampling:
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
Give honest, sincere appreciation.
Show genuine interest in others.
Respect the other person’s opinion.
Let the other person save face.
These principles are about humility, compassion and gratitude. Mr. Carnegie never lost sight of his own small-town upbringing and the importance of building a reputation based on being humanitarian. 103 years later, his work is still teaching us about the importance of character and how to build the characteristics associated with likable personalities.
So, what does reputation hinge upon? I’d say that we should follow Mr. Carnegie’s thinking: we need to have likable personalities that grow through skill-development (such as communicating well, presenting ourselves with confidence, etc.) in order to compete in this “Culture of Personality.” We should also remember that the constancy and source of our humanity – the foundation our personalities are built upon, flows out of true character.
Gratefully yours,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Remember the end of John F. Kennedy’s inaugural speech? “Think not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”
Imagine if he’d said it like this: “Don’t misunderstand the role of being an American citizen. You can’t sit back while your government works to make you secure. You have to step up to the plate, be proactive and support the whole. We’re counting on you, and we’re in this together….or else.”
Not so good. Right? Certainly no one would be quoting it nearly 50 years later. His actual words inspired and challenged people — giving them a fine reputation to live up to and a good cause to work towards. A winning speech!
This is a great example of delivering a compelling point while conveying a positive message. It must be memorable and give listeners something to respond to; an action with an inherent value to them for taking that action. We want to get buy-in and be perceived as leaders, too.
Generally, people absorb messages when they’re short. Here’s the difference:
a. Don’t smoke — you’ll die too young from a devastating cancer of the mouth, tongue, lungs or brain. You’ll shorten your life, you’ll contaminate the air and give others health problems from second hand smoke.
b. Avoid getting cancer. Don’t smoke! You can live a long, healthy life.
Which message would you be able to quote? Isn’t that what you would want your listeners to be able to do with your message?
Here are a few steps in preparing your positive, succinct point:
1. Identify the point of your message. This is frequently something you’d like your listeners to do, change, or follow-up on. Do you want them to take your advice, remember something you said or take on a challenge? Write that one thing down. Make it ONE thing only. The action you want them to take is the point of your speech.
2. Use this core point to gather information such as, facts, personal examples, anecdotes, to reinforce your point. Use this information to enhance and drive home your message.
3. Create a value proposition. Your point must have a value to the audience or you will lose your ability to make impact.
When you deliver your message, here’s the order for making a succinct point:
a. Share your examples, anecdotes, facts, etc., rich with detail that ties your point to your message.
b. State your point.
c. Make it clear to the listener that there’s a value to him/her for doing what you suggest.
Think not what your audience can do for you, but what you can do for your audience!
Go get ’em!
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
WIIFM. You know, the radio station, what’s in it for me? That’s precisely what audiences are thinking when they have to listen to a presentation. One of my most trusted mentors once said, “No one comes to hear a presentation wondering if the speaker slept well the night before, had an easy commute and a good cup of coffee. Audiences are thinking about themselves. Not you. So stop thinking, worrying and focusing on yourself.” I repeat his words with great compassion for you!
To effectively sell your idea, concept, product, or service, you must get buy-in — and that only happens when your audience understands how your point relates to them. With this in mind, be careful not to stand in the way of communicating your point.
A. Don’t Seek Sympathy
Listen to how often speakers stand before audiences and introduce their presentations with a self-deprecating remark, such as, “My computer was down all last week and I didn’t have the chance to practice as much as I’d hoped so I’m not as sharp as I’d wish to be,” or “I’ve just gotten over a cold and am not fully myself yet,” etc…. NEVER APOLOGIZE to an audience before you start you presentation, folks! 1. You are calling attention to you and away from them. 2. You are giving them permission to look for your flaws. 3. You are asking for sympathy: they are not going to give you the latitude to be less informative and entertaining. So, please, NEVER APOLOGIZE before, during or after a presentation. Remember: they are thinking of themselves, not you.
B. Take Yourself Out of the Equation
Your point has to benefit your audience, so every time you insert yourself, your needs, your wishes, you lose a connection. Every word and concept is on behalf of their interests. I have heard many presenters make statements that are ‘me’ based and not ‘you’ based, like: I want your attention, I need you to follow my direction, my goal is for everyone of you to buy my product. You get the idea. Your goals are irrelevant and what you want is pointless. (The only time a speaker can state what he wants is when he is in a leadership role and has already gotten buy-in and approval. What he really means is, ‘what we all want.’) No speaker is spared the burden of proving a benefit. The reasons people are texting, snoring, looking at the floor, whispering to the person sitting next to them, and pretending to listen (you know, eyes are fixed on you the whole time but are unresponsive) is because: 1. They are thinking of themselves. 2. The speaker has failed to prove the ability to meet their objectives, or solve their problems. 3. The point to them has been lost or hasn’t been made clear. So, think you vs. me when you speak.
C. Don’t Let Fear or Pride Isolate You
Please don’t let the fear of looking silly stop you from using a wide emotional range that can be playful, humorous, mournful, soulful — whatever makes sense — it reveals the essence and humanity of who you are. An audience’s quest for WIIFM is the command they have on the speaker to be entertaining as well as informative. As a trainer and coach I know that the people who do not improve on their presentations are ones that refuse to budge on this; they remain uninteresting, unapproachable and isolated from their listeners. People don’t trust emotionally withholding speakers. Dare to put your own brand of sparkle into it! Dramatic execution helps people understand the point and see its worth. When you insert natural, human emotion into your presentations people appreciate you and relate to you. That’s how you build value. If you can look at yourself as the delivery system for your presentation, it might make it easier to realize that your personal needs can not be packaged into your material. This might be hard, especially if you’re already a bit stressed or worried about your presentation skills. You are more likely to get the result you want if you think solely about benefitting your audience than making it more comfortable for yourself.
Happy presenting!
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I am decidedly a professional woman. In my 30+ year career, of which there are actually two paths taken (one in media sales, one in professional development), I have felt discriminated against because I am a woman. I have been sexualized, objectified, diminished, loathed. I have been given opportunities, I’m sure, because someone thought I was pretty. Both men and women have said and done things to me that where abhorrent. “Go make curtains,” one male boss had said to me, in front of male peers, tossing me out of a meeting. “What’s your favorite position?” a manager asked me after I had inquired about applying for a management position. Oh, I’ve been there.
And you likely have experienced all that too. But this message isn’t about how to get along as a woman, or about leaning in or out, or about being assertive, or vulnerable, or how to navigate corporate male hierarchies. I’m not here to review the research that proves how ambitious women are seen as bitches while male counterparts are admired for their leadership qualities.
No, I’m writing to say to all of us women: please stop obsessing about being a certain way in order to move up the corporate ladder.
Here’s why: despite working to create the right perception (by behaving in a way that will yield the best results), small-minded associates who are in emotional pain, regardless of their gender, will see us through their own damaged lenses. They will have their biases. Their dysfunctional views of the world will be there ANYWAY. Unless people are aware of the feelings of others, and care about developing themselves at higher levels, they will box you in like miniature chocolates molded into their casings.
Yes, it might mean you are seen as the power-hungry-bitch with 38DDs. It might mean your high-intelligence is so threatening that you are passed over for a promotion to someone whom your manager feels he can control. Disappointing, yet with a great blessing: You have been hired by your Guru so that you can work on YOU.
Business settings are like Gurus or teachers. Work presents us with the most difficult, challenging and sometimes downright painful interactions that feel AWFUL. These occurrences actually give us the opportunity to become enlightened; to make choices, to build skills, to detach from any personal need to have the boss (or colleague) fulfill a longing and need in us to be accepted, approved of, etc… They are playing an unexpected role — to push those old buttons so we can evolve. My advice: use these nasty lessons to learn how to step-up into YOU, and don’t worry about who they are.
When I came up with my mantra, DETACH AND BREATHE, it was to deal with a boss who had been actively trying to sabotage me so he could replace me with a guy he liked for my job. I had been reacting by shutting him out of my work and trying to take control of things without consulting him. The minute I allowed him to manage me, forgot about trying to be right, and went with the fact that our hierarchy gave him authority, HE RELAXED around me, and the threat actually went away. By the time I quit, it was purely on my terms. He was my Guru, helping me understand what it means to let go, to stop needing to control, to accept what is.
The freer you are — the more objective and the more accepting of others’ limitations — the better you will feel about yourself and your work. So, you may be overlooked for a promotion or even get fired. Sadly, you may have to deal with a sexual harassment lawsuit. Don’t allow regret to eclipse the power of the lesson. The right opportunities lie ahead. You can live out your purpose, carve out your path. This will happen as a result of your enlightenment and enrichment from these horrific experiences. Plus, there are always good people around who want to help. It’s focusing energy on what’s possible, not on conforming to a culture that cannot bring your dreams to fruition.
Professionally and respectfully yours,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The world is flooded with consultants, coaches, trainers and lecturers who help professionals become confident leaders, effective communicators, managers of conflict and change, business builders who beat out the competition and who earn lots and lots of money. The web is flooded with expertise. Bookstore shelves are lined with words from the wise, those who promise tools for the achievement of massive success.
Why do so many professionals seek this type of help? Because the part of life we call “WORK” is a massive TRIGGER that shakes us up to ask ourselves things like: Why didn’t I get the promotion? What makes me unique? What is my vision? Why can’t I get along with coworkers? How do I motivate others? Am I good enough? Do I deserve success?
WORK awakens us to who we are, if we dare look beyond the surface. WORK is a playground for enlightenment, for the opportunity to see how we really operate, how others perceive us; to have our fears become magnified and reflect back messages that tell us exactly what is holding us back in our lives. WORK delivers definitive proof that we have no control of anyone or anything other than what we do and what we say.
The point is this: the exercise of being in a job, regardless of what it is, or how many times we switch focus — we are on a journey of learning about ourselves. A career is an outward path to an inward journey.
Along my 23 years in media, I had the same boss over and over again, no matter what the job or the company, with few exceptions. The boss who would battle me and cringe in my presence and avoid me and and act out in less than professional ways in not knowing how best to deal with me.
I have a big energy and strong drive and I like working independently. A friend who knows me for 25 years says that I, “Incite a riot,” meaning, that when unharnessed, my energy can be a catalyst that makes people feel uncomfortable. Those managers who didn’t have insight and self-control used their authority against me. I battled them and I always lost. I blamed them and played the perfect victim. I was miserable. I couldn’t understand why I kept having the same boss over and over and over. I couldn’t get off the hamster wheel.
Then one day a dear and insightful friend suggested that I surrender. That I accept my role, my managers’ roles and respect the hierarchy; to open myself to what being in a corporate world is – playing a function in a company. That I didn’t own anything, not a stapler, not an idea, not a client – it was all owned by the organization. I was getting paid for my function and it was a mutually beneficial arrangement.
That’s when I realized what my real job was – to heal. After much introspection and hard work I came to understand that I was striving for self-preservation and I was using the same modes of coping behavior I had learned as a child. Some of this behavior earned me great results – lots of revenue for my employers – but the cost was almighty on me, as I was also so high-maintenance. As a result of the time I spent to analyze myself and build skills in dealing with these work-related situations, I found inner peace and a purpose. I changed careers so that I could help others heal and grow. I designed my life to have the love and support I need.
I now bless those experiences and those managers of mine. I thank them for contracting with me to push me along my journey towards self-actualization. Without them I may never have healed or found the path I’m on now, which is aligned with who I’ve become.
Our career paths are cosmic gifts that help us move beyond who we are, not because they are designed to, but because they connect us with the teachers and lessons we need to be able to move on. On the surface, it all looks like WORK. On a higher plane, it’s a spiritual path of enlightenment.
Look at the places of unhappiness at work. When you hold up the mirror, that is, the unpleasant or negative or threatening circumstances that are taking place at work, what is being reflected back at you? Take that reflection and think about the play you are starring in called, “MY LIFE.” These bosses, these co-workers, these situations, have supporting roles in your play. Let’s give them a standing ovation.
Happy Journeying,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
It means that you say the thing that must be said in a way that encourages and inspires the other party to listen and respect you. The goal isn’t necessarily to change another’s perspective or to get agreement (that’s the art of persuasion), the goal here is to speak up for yourself, and command the space to be heard.
Here are some quick tips:
lead with facts, not feelings
be willing to state what’s good about you
give-up overly emotional responses for even, calm, predictable reactions
ask for what you want
say ‘no’ when you mean no
speak in terms of the value to the other person for hearing your point
do not accept terms that do not work for you
accept the other party’s right to differ
defer a heated confrontation until both parties are willing and open to hearing one another
show respect for the other person’s opinion
never disclose too much personal information about yourself (despite a promise of secrecy and confidentiality)
openly admit your mistakes
dare to be uncomfortable and say it anyway
strive for being respected; view being liked as a bonus
Aggressive people may get themselves heard but don’t attract friends along the way. They are good at winning the battle but even better at losing the war. Passive people generally do not get heard and go along with others so as not to make waves. This does not engender respect. Passive-Aggressive people are a category unto themselves — a quick way to locate them is to find the source of the conflict in a group; they send out mixed messages and find a way of getting what they want through manipulation.
The true assertive individual is confident, trusted, liked and heard. Confidence is an appealing quality that others gravitate towards. As a communication specialist, the only way I know to effectively become assertive is to practice these techniques with everyone, everywhere.
Assertively yours,
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I sometimes attend a women’s networking group where we are given an outline for how to introduce ourselves to other professionals and the opportunity to practice our pitches several times over. Some people do this well, but for others the pitch and the opportunity to practice it don’t seem to help them master their delivery.
I’ve been watching people struggle with this and have identified two main areas that need improvement: 1. clarifying and communicating one’s uniqueness and 2. overcoming the insecurity about claiming expertise in one’s field.
So, in thinking about how to help those who are still shaky in these two areas, I’ve come up with this outline for creating a solid 60-second pitch:
1. Your name, your company’s name.
2. Your company’s mission (one line about why your company exists).
3. Your credentials ( ie: accreditations, certificates, licenses, published works).
This helps you substantiate your value in your field of expertise (and sets the stage for #4).
4. Your unique value proposition (one sentence about what differentiates you from your competition).
What makes me stand out from the competition…
Why I’m the best at what I do….
5. How what you do benefits your listener (one sentence on the strongest value your listener or customer gets from working with you).
I can help you specifically with…
I can provide a solution for….
Practice, Practice Practice! I bet you make some solid connections.
Happy pitching!
Jackie
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc. with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc. with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
