Your Personal Growth Opportunity in the Time of Coronavirus

As I sit here at home, and in speaking with many people during this period, it seems that the fear about protecting oneself financially, emotionally, socially, etc., is creeping into the ability to stay motivated, connected, creative and optimistic. We really don’t know when life will return to a semblance of normalcy and when we will be safe being out in the world again.

Fear can block all the good that the mind has to offer. Although there’s no perfect answer that fits everyone, one way that is helping me, as I sit home like most of you, is to view this situation as an opportunity for personal growth.

To ask oneself, “How can I move myself forward in the stillness of this time?” Is really a profound question that can yield some really surprising answers. It might be the time to explore the business idea you have for the company you really want to launch. It might be getting closer to your loved ones. It might be to finally begin writing that book you’ve been pondering for years. It might be changing your eating habits or having the difficult conversations with your partner to remove barriers to your relationship. It might be overcoming fear of technology. It might be the opportunity to look at the fear of stillness itself (as so many of us can’t keep still).

I firmly believe that there’s something good in all of us to emerge; an awareness, an awakening, an initiative — and that is in our control, when so much isn’t. Resilience comes from the acknowledgment that we have an opportunity before us. What does that look like? Self-reflection is a powerful way to move forward in the face of forced stillness. Once we are beyond this time, our insights and mindset shifts, ideas and changes will have transformed us permanently, and will lead us down new paths that might not have otherwise emerged without the benefits of this opportunity.

I recommend a personal growth “to do” list. Here’s an example:

1. What things have I been meaning to do because I’ve been too busy?
2. What have I been avoiding that I know would only yield good if I focused on healing it?
3. Who have I meant to reach out to?
4. With whom do I have old issues that we need to resolve?
5. What does this time mean to me – how can I move myself forward?
6. Why must I always be running around? Why can’t I sit still?
7. What innovation in my industry (or another industry) do I wish to explore?
8. What have I always wanted to write about? To learn?

The brain doesn’t like a void and is always searching for a problem to solve. So to both nurture the brain’s need, give it something hearty and positive to chew on. And, if you can, see this time as an opportunity to discover what is accessible in you, yet to be known by you.

Moving forward,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Transformation, Mindfulness and other “Woo-Woo”​ Terms Define Successful Talent Development

Woo-Woo Terms: Transformation. Mindfulness. Enlightenment. Self-Improvement. Consciousness Shift. Self-awareness. Insight. Empowerment. Authenticity. Inspiration. Courage. Individuality. Perspective. Human potential. Humility. Truth-Seeking. Clarity. Connectivity. Life’s Path. Awakening.

Skill-Building Terms: Increase Sales. Achieve Success. Get Results. Build Leaders. Develop Managers. Improve Team-Work. Cultivate Communication, Presentation, Human Relations, Time-Management, Change Management and Conflict Management Skills, etc.

Corporate professionals all over the world are flocking to places like Esalen, Kripalu and Omega Institutes; showing up to workshops defined by their ‘woo-wooness’. Yet, and understandably, L&D Professionals and C-Level Executives involved in talent development must serve corporate objectives and assign training budgets that will meet the mandates of success and ROI. Still, the list of aforementioned ‘woo-woo’ terms don’t generally get companies to write checks to coaches and trainers. (Yes, there are progressive companies that invest in employee wellness programs, and that is a growing phenomenon, but mainly, no one can quantify ‘woo-woo’ with ROI.)

To help people discover their potential, wake-up to themselves, understand how their brains (and others’ brains) function in ways that help or hinder; make it safe for professionals to hold themselves accountable for their thinking and the way they communicate and lead, those ‘woo-woo’ terms actually mean everything to creating permanent change and performance improvement. They are the underlying keys that create those professional ‘success and ROI’ goals. The reason is that the more someone is accessible to his or her real self, the more he or she can influence others and navigate the dysfunctions and difficulties of corporate life. Not I, nor any person in service to others as a coach and/or trainer, can make people perform up to assessment testing levels without putting the value of the human being before the skill-set. There is nothing superficial about the work to cultivate talent.

Of course, unless individuals being coached want to evolve (while being given practical tools that improve their skills, work and home lives) no method of development, regardless of how it’s worded, will yield lasting results.

As a final thought, I am of the opinion that coaches and trainers who have not pursued their own ‘woo-woo’ journey (and these paths are as unique as are people) have the heart, the clarity, the compassion and the skill to inspire, to challenge and hold their clients accountable on the ascension to that ROI.

Develop Mentally Yours,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Are you a Prisoner of your Mind?

Standing in the Hall of Prisoners, at the Accademia Gallery in Florence, Italy, just feet from the very famous Statue of David, are unfinished masterpieces by Michelangelo that, in their state, appear to be slaves, prisoners or captives of the marble from which they are emerging.  As one approaches the glorious, free, angelic David, these sculptures, against the walls of a long hallway, seem to be telling the story of the human mind. Are these tortured souls in various stages of enslavement, or depending on perspective, of setting themselves free?

The images of these frozen captives, in juxtaposition with the gloriously free David, makes one think:  Am I a slave to my baggage?  Am I waiting to be free?

 

As lore has it, when people asked Michelangelo how he accessed David from a slab of marble, he said, “It was easy.  I perceived the Angel in the marble and carved to set it free.”  If we put a psychological spin to this, the idea is of chipping away at the parts of ourselves that no longer fit, or are wasteful; baggage we lug around, like slabs of marble.  And, as we let the chips fall away, we access our true selves; the pure beings we were born to be.

If Michelangelo was our maker, we would all start out as a slab of marble.  Then it would be our energy, our force, our will to reveal ourselves to him so that he could see the being lodged in there.  It would be the clarity of who we are, our demand to be seen, our mindfulness, our fierceness to rise that would trigger him to see how far he must carve to set us free. We would demand and get our freedom.

And so with this powerful metaphor in mind, I ask:

1. Are you a prisoner of your beliefs and thoughts?  How do they keep you stuck and walking in circles?

2. Do you take risks that challenge you beyond your comfort zone?

3. Do you surround yourself with people who want to see you win; who promote your growth and see your potential? If not, who or what are you allowing to keep you down?

4. What parts of your life keep you captive – whether the people, the job, extra weight, emotional pain, etc?  What rock are you hiding behind?

6. Have you felt unhappy, unsatisfied and unchallenged as of late? Are you searching for something more?

Your answers may surprise you, and I know first hand that seeking the truth can wreak havoc: it can cause you to make difficult decisions, make changes that require courage, leave you feeling a huge void, make you feel like you’re in a free fall.  But, as I have been on a very active journey to my truth, I can say that it was this very metaphor, given to me by a wise person years ago (with my best interests at heart) that launched me to completely change the direction of my thoughts and beliefs about myself, my relationships, my career, my health, and discover my purpose in life: to help others do the same.

I’m only a stone’s throw away!  Please share this article with others, whom you support, and feel free to reach out to me directly. I am a brain-based coach who helps people step out of the marble and into the light.

Shine on,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Illusion of Taking Control

Dear Control Freaks,

Here are a few examples that define the term “Control Freak”:

1. You have to be in charge of what’s happening or you lose control of your composure.  It could be as small as how chairs are lined up in a room, to scaring the driver in front of you by riding his tail in the fast lane, to push him over to the middle lane.

2. You must reign in other people or you lose control of your temper.  Don’t like someone’s expression or the fact that he’s not as enthusiastic about your project as you are? Well, how dare he!

3. Everyone should buy into your idea or you fear you will lose control of the outcome.  People are giving you feedback you don’t like or disagree with you so you disregard them and don’t see them as team-players.

4. You don’t like what’s happening and have either a FIGHT or FLIGHT response.  You argue or your bust out. You’ve completely lost control.

5. A lack of certainty of what’s happening makes you lose track of your thinking.  You can’t adequately plan the next steps. You feel overwhelmed to not get on top of things.  This is happening because stress hormone has taken over and wipes the pre-frontal cortex (thinking part of the brain) of rational thought.

6. You are miserable when you aren’t in the driver’s seat.  Literally.  Don’t like the way your husband drives?  He doesn’t signal early enough before turning?  So what do you do? You assign yourself as the family driver.

I say these things with deep empathy. I was a control freak with many aspects of the aforementioned as my symptoms.  The work it takes to LET GO and begin realizing that control is an illusion; that the only thing we ever have control over is our own behavior, is a painful but freeing shift to being mindful.

Sure, parents can control their children:  what they eat, when they go to bed, how much they study or play, but one cannot control a child’s spirit, or a child’s feelings. One cannot control a domestic cat’s nature:  you love it and care for it and provide it with scratching posts and toys, and it will still shred the hell out of your sofa.

Just yesterday, I attended a Spiritual Conference at Teacher’s College and one of the workshops I attended was called, Council Practice: Community, Art of Connection and Empathic Listening.  I had hoped to learn some new ways of facilitating improved listening and people skills through this workshop.  The school defined council as: “…a practice of open heartfelt expression and attentive empathic listening.”

So, I’m sitting in a circle with about 30 other people and within 5 minutes I realized that although with very good intentions on the parts of the facilitators, that this was nothing I would have designed and I was completely turned off by the exposure requested of the participants to play in this arena. The spirituality of this felt contrived to me, and the immediate assumption of this group as a ‘community’ of like-minded individuals didn’t work for me.  There were four rounds of everyone responding to a single question; some were barely audible, some overly emotional and some having no sense of when to stop talking. I sat there wanting to take control  – to break up the room into 3 small groups, to set the rules of play about being audible and concise and to create a better opportunity to get feedback and debrief each step, to ensure value was being transferred.

As an empathic listener by trade, I still only have so much patience.  Being asked to hear 29 other people speak four times = listening to 116 people’s stories, all in 90 minutes, with the idea of being open-hearted to all, was a bit much of an ask of me.  I wanted to yell or flee.  So when the question posed of us was, “What’s the greatest gift you’ve ever given to someone?”, I said, “The gift I’m giving is to me right now. I am sitting here fully awake to the fact that I have no say in the way this workshop is being run, and the reminder that I have no control. I’m glad to use this experience to become better at letting go.” And I meant it.

The “freak” in us just limits our ability to dance with the flow of reality.  By learning that we don’t have to love what’s happening and don’t have to change it is quite freeing.  We can move from having an illusion of needing to exert power to building skills in patience, and allowing ourselves to experience the teachings that life has in store for us.

Mindfully yours,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.