The Worst, Most Offensive Way to Sell Your Services on LinkedIn

For those of you who were saw Alec Baldwin’s performance on “Glengarry Glen Ross,” you were mortified by his threats associated with the edict, “Always Be Closing.” But ABC as a sales mentality really means there are mini-closures in the steps it takes towards the final close of a deal, and that usually includes relationship building, discovering client goals, presenting solutions, proving value, overcoming objections, and finally negotiating mutually rewarding outcomes.

Unlike these steps, I’ve discovered that many sellers who use LinkedIn forget the genuine relationship-building steps and jump into how fast they can move to close a deal. Here are some examples:

Sender: “You spend a lot of time and money during your hiring process, and you know the wrong hire can really set you back. With XXX, you’ll be able to quickly identify the perfect candidate for any job you’re looking to fill.”

My thoughts: I’m not hiring, but thanks for the mass sponsored message!

Sender: “I’d love to connect with you! I’ve shown people how to pick up another $5,000 in monthly revenue in just four weeks using our methodology to harness the power of Linked IN.”

My thoughts: I don’t know you; you have no credibility with me, and no, I won’t accept your invitation. Oh and by the way, where did you learn that this was the way to sell your services using social media?

How many of you readers are receiving these types of invites and messages? Probably a lot of you. And I sincerely hope the people who are using LinkedIn in similar ways are reading this too!

Just because this is a social media and rather impersonal platform, does not mean we forego the principles of humanizing our communications; working to learn about an individual’s needs (by showing interest and asking questions). We want to discover what prospects care about and value.

Sellers have to first ensure there’s a potential match for their offerings before diving into a pitch.

When I was a young sales person at New York Magazine, my boss advised me that, “You will always get the sale as long as what you have to offer meets the goals of your prospect. It may take time to build that relationship, but in the long-term you will get the order.” I always found this to be true throughout my 23 year tenure in media sales.

Assessing prospects doesn’t come out of reading a profile – it’s looking to create a bridge through common ground. You can’t build rapport or credibility if all you’re going to do is try to sell your services and provide some facts to back up your pitch.

Try these approaches instead:

-Whom do you know in common?

-Who in your network will champion you and introduce you to prospects?

-What have you studied about your prospects that demonstrate you really care about their expertise, accomplishments, industry, opportunity, etc…?

The win-win is when you’re invited by your prospect to want to hear more from you. This comes when sellers present themselves as service-oriented, resourceful, caring people, who don’t see social media as an efficient means to achieve KPIs, quotas and bonuses.

Lastly, I’d like to highlight another form of Linked In connecting that doesn’t bode well for building a reputation or credibility – it’s those who initiate connections because of commonality, then don’t follow through.

Sender: “Hi Jackie, I came across your profile and see we have a number of common connections. I would like to join your professional network.”

My thoughts: Yes, accept the invitation. I then received an immediate response —

Sender: “I just wanted to drop you a quick note and say thanks for connecting with me here on Linkedin, and I’m looking forward to keeping in touch and getting to know you better.”

My thoughts: Okay, stay open, see what happens! However, I never heard back from him after that! Perhaps he wanted access to my network but didn’t seek a real connection. Or, maybe he was waiting for me to work on building the connection! I deleted him from my network.

We have to be so choosy about whom we invite into our networks. We have to protect ourselves, and the people who trust us to be a part of their networks — no one likes an overload of invitations from sellers that come across their names from your contacts.

Bottom line is, if you want to successfully generate leads using LinkedIn, then make it your business to learn the old-fashioned art of building real relationships. This way, you gain the status of earning the right to be a consultant and become an invited resource to your clients. That’s how salespeople build great reputations and achieve long-term success, both online and offline.

Happy Connecting,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Give People Options and They’ll Agree to the Rules

Think of the most successful game shows and why people want to play: it’s the fate placed in their own hands to impact the outcome. Take “Let’s Make a Deal” for example. People can only choose from three doors, and have to take whatever’s behind that door – placing their luck in their own hands. In “Wheel of Fortune” they spin that wheel and have to live with whatever that spoke offers. “Jeopardy” gives people the opportunity to pick their own subjects, yet they still have to follow the rules of asking the right questions. This is the strategy of getting people to willingly follow rules: give them options and autonomy and empower them to have a hand in their own destiny. The mind then focuses less on the restrictions and more on the pleasure of choosing for oneself.

This crossed my mind the other day when thinking about helping a client become better in the art of delegation. This vice-president was sharing her failure to gain cooperation and complained that she mostly receives push-back or non-compliance. I asked her how she went about asking people to follow her lead. Her way was something like, “Hey, I need you to do this. It’s due by 5pm.”

The truth is that individual contributors may realize their jobs require them to execute management’s agenda, but they may rebel when orders are barked at them and they have no say about the task. So she and I worked out a way for her to become more effective, which was to present options and give her team latitude (and some control) over the project, while still holding them accountable for the assignment.

After this interaction, it occurred to me that this issue isn’t limited to delegation. The best sellers know that to influence a decision and close a deal; they offer their prospects options to choose from with varied costs and value-adds. Buyers feel empowered when they perceive to be in control of the seller relationship. So the seller provides options that are adventageous to both parties, with set boundaries and restrictions, but sellers know that to have a successful outcome, it’s the buyer who is given the power to choose from a selection of options.

So, for those of us who must delegate or close deals or get people to collaborate/cooperate here is what creating options sounds like. Examples:

Delegation. Start with the rule: “Sara, this project is due tomorrow at 5pm.” Provide the options: “Between 9a-4p, when do you think you can get this to me?”

Closing a deal. Start with the rule: “We have three packages that will fulfill your objectives, scaled by investment levels. In order to launch this on time, please provide us with your choice by Monday.” Provide the options: “Option 1 will cost X and deliver Y. Option 2…etc… Option 3…etc. Which one would should we go with?”

Gaining cooperation. Start with the rule: “Today the team will be divided up into 3 groups, each with a different task. These are to be handed in by COB Friday.” Provide options: “Based on these deliverables, on a first come-first served basis, please select the task you’d like to work on.”

Autonomy is one of the most important needs that people have in life. Ensuring that your teams are not stripped of this essential human right – even when rules are in play – is a critical factor in creating a cooperative and healthy work environment.

Cheering you on!

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coffee Talk with Colleagues: Loose Lips Sink Ships

“Let’s have cawfee, we’ll tawk!”  How many of us frequently grab that cup o’ Joe with a colleague, for that quick, yet productive meeting?  A good idea unless the jazz, low lights and chocolate-y cupcakes encourage the conversation to spin out of control.

Recently, at a mid-town Starbucks, I overheard a man and woman (both of whom were wearing expensive-looking suits, holding the very latest Smartphones, and sipping double espressos) talk about the utter hatred they had for their boss, about how they weren’t earning enough commission and how when the market got better they would both look for other jobs.  She said, “Bill, I can’t believe you feel this way, too!”  He said, “Oh yeah, I’ve felt this way for years.  Maybe it’s good to finally talk about it.” I thought, the only way either of them is going to be safe sharing this information with the other is if they are siblings or spouses. But they weren’t, because the woman discussed her plans to be with her family for Easter and the guy mentioned his fiance and their upcoming wedding. Before they got up, they agreed not to share each other’s feelings, and on terms for a client meeting for which they were teaming-up.  I felt for them because the tension and strain of the work environment was affecting their morale, leading to this discussion.

Without even knowing it, this inappropriate sharing of feelings is likely to become the undoing of any real trust between them, over time.  He could become her boss, she his. They could get a new boss whom she likes but he doesn’t.  You just never know how circumstances will change.

Having a cup of coffee with a colleague can enhance a good working relationship because those few moments away from the daily numbers-crunching grind to have a rich, aromatic daily grind, can inspire open communication, information sharing and improved negotiations.  That being said, the step out of the office can also loosen one’s inhibitions and potentially jeopardize work relations.

This is why conference rooms were built. People don’t typically conspire to blow-up the boss or talk about their job interviews or affairs after a meeting has ended.  No one can fault you for wanting to be the consummate professional.  So, here are some tips to keep yourself on track and in the mind-set of doing business when out of the office:

1. Be the listener.  In case your associate is mouthing off, you can nod your head to show understanding and sympathy without engaging in the negativity.  Tell your partner that you are sorry to hear about these problems, but that you don’t feel you are in a position to discuss the situation. Suggest that an impartial, third party be consulted for support.

2. Start talking about the business at hand. Gently drive your partner back to the thing you came to discuss by asking for input and suggestions.

3. Openly watch the time.  Say something to the effect of, “I only have another 10 minutes, what haven’t we covered?”

4. Confirm your neutrality. As you are leaving, wish your associate a peaceful resolution and reaffirm your interest in working on this and future projects together.

It is so tempting to gossip when you feel you have found someone who sides with you. But there is tremendous danger in engaging in conspired negativity, and from my experience, ALL gossip leaks, even among friends.  So, take the high road; you may even encourage the gossip to end.

Happy communicating,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

How to Make a Positive, Succinct Point When Presenting

Remember the end of John F. Kennedy’s inaugural speech?   “Think not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

Imagine if he’d said it like this:  “Don’t misunderstand the role of being an American citizen. You can’t sit back while your government works to make you secure.   You have to step up to the plate, be proactive and support the whole.  We’re counting on you, and we’re in this together….or else.”

Not so good. Right? Certainly no one would be quoting it nearly 50 years later.  His actual words inspired and challenged people — giving them a fine reputation to live up to and a good cause to work towards.  A winning speech!

This is a great example of delivering a compelling point while conveying a positive message. It must be memorable and give listeners something to respond to; an action with an inherent value to them for taking that action.  We want to get buy-in and be perceived as leaders, too.

Generally, people absorb messages when they’re short.    Here’s the difference:

a. Don’t smoke — you’ll die too young from a devastating cancer of the mouth, tongue, lungs or brain. You’ll shorten your life, you’ll contaminate the air and give others health problems from second hand smoke.

b. Avoid getting cancer. Don’t smoke! You can live a long, healthy life.

Which message would you be able to quote?  Isn’t that what you would want your listeners to be able to do with your message?

Here are a few steps in preparing your positive, succinct point:

1. Identify the point of your message. This is frequently something you’d like your listeners to do, change, or follow-up on. Do you want them to take your advice, remember something you said or take on a challenge? Write that one thing down.  Make it ONE thing only.  The action you want them to take is the point of your speech.

2. Use this core point to gather information such as, facts, personal examples, anecdotes, to reinforce your point. Use this information to enhance and drive home your message.

3. Create a value proposition.  Your point must have a value to the audience or you will lose your ability to make impact.

When you deliver your message, here’s the order for making a succinct point:

a. Share your examples, anecdotes, facts, etc., rich with detail that ties your point to your message.

b.  State your point.

c. Make it clear to the listener that there’s a value to him/her for doing what you suggest.

Think not what your audience can do for you, but what you can do for your audience!

Go get ’em!

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linked IN Activities Reveal Our People Skills

Let’s face it; we’re not all on Linked IN for the same reasons. Some of us are pretty secure in our jobs – the reason to have a profile is to market current status, relevance and expertise (and you still never know what better opportunity might come along!). Some of us are job hunting. Some are entrepreneurs looking to make connections for business. Some are sellers who are looking for their next customer. Some are marketing books, networking events, business opportunities.

And when we launch Linked IN every morning from our computers or iPads, it’s pretty obvious who‘s working it — the way social media promises it will work: with enough frequency and reach, articles, statistics, news, etc, will help get a return on investment.

A major benefit of Linked IN, of course, (and the best way to get ROI) is to forge solid connections with others. Here’s where I’ve personally noticed the strengths and limits of our ‘social media’ interpersonal skills. Some of us are very responsive to others and some are not.  I have had great success on Linked IN in building rapport, relationships and business, and in some cases I have made contact (with primary connections) and have had no response.

Here’s a sampling of typical requests that many of us make, with the sincere hope of getting a response:

1. May I ask for a reference?
2. May I offer you a free workshop at your next event?
3. I would love to learn about your business challenges/goals to see you how my services might improve the situation/grow your business/support your efforts.
4. Hello! We haven’t connected in awhile and I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing.
5. Hey, someone else in our network contacted me, before I say yes, what is your experience with him?
6. Thank you for connecting with me! Can we meet for coffee to learn more about our businesses, and see how we can support one another?

People are busy and over-committed. And it’s a job in and of itself to manage a social media network! I get it. So when I don’t hear back (occasional, but not the norm, thankfully) I don’t take it personally and I surmise that:

1. They may not want to hear from me (despite the fact that they have said yes to being connected).

2. They may be happy to hear from me but don’t know how to say, “NO.”

3. They may consider my note not worth their time and effort.

4. They may not be looking for someone with my services.

Whatever the reason for a non-response, I feel that the nature of social media makes it easy to de-sensitize us to others. Maybe it’s the lack of eye contact or human voice? A flat profile cannot possibly feel as real as direct interaction with a person, after all. Maybe we are all just so inundated with requests from our networks that it just takes too much time and effort to respond?

Whatever the reason, I believe that we should communication online in a way that mirrors the way we communicate in person. That is, to be personable, approachable and aware of the perception we create, by the way we respond to others.

Linked IN is a community of people who are trying to survive and thrive. Everyone. That means that everyone is a potential reference.  The person who has considered you to be important, has reached out with hope of opening a door. And even if you have to say, “No,” it is still acknowledging your receipt of the message, at the very least.

Friends, colleagues: please consider that if you’re going to grow a large network, expect people to make contact and expect to be sought after. So, take a few minutes to write back. You never know when you might need something from someone in your network and only hope you’ll get a reply.

I don’t mean to sound preachy, not trying to teach anyone a lesson; just reacting to an overall experience that has made me consider that social media has the potential to diminish our ability to relate to others and eat-away at our people skills.

In the bigger picture, we all need each other to be successful. In my humble opinion, kindness and generosity have a Pay-it-Forward energy that could yield surprising support for us all!

So the next time someone writes to you, think that the other person could be you reaching out for support, advice, a reference, a moment of their time.  Then hit reply.

Happy connecting!

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your Audience Always Wants to Know, “What’s in it for me?”

WIIFM.  You know, the radio station, what’s in it for me?  That’s precisely what audiences are thinking when they have to listen to a presentation. One of my most trusted mentors once said, “No one comes to hear a presentation wondering if the speaker slept well the night before, had an easy commute and a good cup of coffee. Audiences are thinking about themselves.  Not you.  So stop thinking, worrying and focusing on yourself.” I repeat his words with great compassion for you!

To effectively sell your idea, concept, product, or service, you must get buy-in — and that only happens when your audience understands how your point relates to them. With this in mind, be careful not to stand in the way of communicating your point.

A. Don’t Seek Sympathy

Listen to how often speakers stand before audiences and introduce their presentations with a self-deprecating remark, such as, “My computer was down all last week and I didn’t have the chance to practice as much as I’d hoped so I’m not as sharp as I’d wish to be,” or “I’ve just gotten over a cold and am not fully myself yet,”  etc…. NEVER APOLOGIZE to an audience before you start you presentation, folks!  1. You are calling attention to you and away from them.  2. You are giving them permission to look for your flaws.  3. You are asking for sympathy:  they are not going to give you the latitude to be less informative and entertaining. So, please, NEVER APOLOGIZE before, during or after a presentation. Remember: they are thinking of themselves, not you.

B. Take Yourself Out of the Equation

Your point has to benefit your audience, so every time you insert yourself, your needs, your wishes, you lose a connection.  Every word and concept is on behalf of their interests. I have heard many presenters make statements that are ‘me’ based and not ‘you’ based, like:  I want your attention, I need you to follow my direction, my goal is for everyone of you to buy my product.  You get the idea.  Your goals are irrelevant and what you want is pointless.  (The only time a speaker can state what he wants is when he is in a leadership role and has already gotten buy-in and approval.  What he really means is, ‘what we all want.’)  No speaker is spared the burden of proving a benefit. The reasons people are texting, snoring, looking at the floor, whispering to the person sitting next to them, and pretending to listen (you know, eyes are fixed on you the whole time but are unresponsive) is because:  1. They are thinking of themselves. 2. The speaker has failed to prove the ability to meet their objectives, or solve their problems.  3.  The point to them has been lost or hasn’t been made clear.   So, think you vs. me when you speak.

C. Don’t Let Fear or Pride Isolate You

Please don’t let the fear of looking silly stop you from using a wide emotional range that can be playful, humorous, mournful, soulful — whatever makes sense — it reveals the essence and humanity of who you are.  An audience’s quest for WIIFM is the command they have on the speaker to be entertaining as well as informative.  As a trainer and coach I know that the people who do not improve on their presentations are ones that refuse to budge on this; they remain uninteresting, unapproachable and isolated from their listeners. People don’t trust emotionally withholding speakers. Dare to put your own brand of sparkle into it! Dramatic execution helps people understand the point and see its worth.  When you insert natural, human emotion into your presentations people appreciate you and relate to you.  That’s how you build value. If you can look at yourself as the delivery system for your presentation, it might make it easier to realize that your personal needs can not be packaged into your material. This might be hard, especially if you’re already a bit stressed or worried about your presentation skills. You are more likely to get the result you want if you think solely about benefitting your audience than making it more comfortable for yourself.

Happy presenting!

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc.,  with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What Does it Mean to Be Assertive?

It means that you say the thing that must be said in a way that encourages and inspires the other party to listen and respect you. The goal isn’t necessarily to change another’s perspective or to get agreement (that’s the art of persuasion), the goal here is to speak up for yourself, and command the space to be heard.

Here are some quick tips:

• lead with facts, not feelings
• be willing to state what’s good about you
• give-up overly emotional responses for even, calm, predictable reactions
• ask for what you want
• say ‘no’ when you mean no
• speak in terms of the value to the other person for hearing your point
• do not accept terms that do not work for you
• accept the other party’s right to differ
• defer a heated confrontation until both parties are willing and open to hearing one another
• show respect for the other person’s opinion
• never disclose too much personal information about yourself (despite a promise of secrecy and confidentiality)
• openly admit your mistakes
• dare to be uncomfortable and say it anyway
• strive for being respected; view being liked as a bonus

Aggressive people may get themselves heard but don’t attract friends along the way.  They are good at winning the battle but even better at losing the war.  Passive people generally do not get heard and go along with others so as not to make waves. This does not engender respect. Passive-Aggressive people are a category unto themselves — a quick way to locate them is to find the source of the conflict in a group; they send out mixed messages and find a way of getting what they want through manipulation.

The true assertive individual is confident, trusted, liked and heard.  Confidence is an appealing quality that others gravitate towards. As a communication specialist, the only way I know to effectively become assertive is to practice these techniques with everyone, everywhere.

Assertively yours,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

When Networking for Business, Talk-Up Your Strengths!

(Except when you are trying to prove that you aren’t inadequate.)

Here’s what I mean:  I went to a networking function recently and met a zealous young man breaking into the coaching business. He was a main presenter for the event and did a fine job, but when we chatted later, he said, “I didn’t do as well today as I normally do — in fact, most of the time I’m the best speaker at these events. I have awards to prove it.”

Bragging is a form of conceit, but more-so, a compensation for feeling less-than-zippy.  I felt compassion for him (because I know what it feels like to under perform), and think he could benefit from learning techniques in one-on-one communicating. Other than that, I don’t want to forge a business connection with him.

The point is this:  you must come from strength in order to communicate your strengths.  It’s okay to want others to think highly of you, but let them make that assessment.  Humility has a far more commanding presence, anyway!  The goal is to be memorable in a positive way, to communicate your strengths quickly and to seek an opportunity for re-connection.

So, here’s how to humbly state and prove your strengths, while making an instant, positive, business connection:

1. Body language first:  stand arms’ length apart, firmly shake (not break) hands, smile and make direct eye contact.  Say, ‘hello!’ with enthusiasm.

2. Introduce yourself:  slowly state your name, your company and your position, audibly enunciating every syllable.

2. Focus on the other person first:  state something positive — comment on something you’ve seen, heard or read about this person’s body of work.  If you know nothing,  ask what he/she does and what his/her strengths are.  You immediately want to show interest; this proves you have good people and networking skills and will get the other person asking all about you.

3. Ask what kind of help you can offer to the other person.  This generosity will quickly make others perceive you as having true value, and create the opportunity to leverage yourself.

3. Now talk about you:  say something to the effect of, “I’m expert in my field with ‘X’ years in the business and have ‘X’ accreditations, awards…”etc.

4. State one or two core strengths:  these are qualities about you that you can back up with evidence.  My example is:  I help people improve their thinking and make positive impact upon others.  My company is PointMaker Communications. I’m a professional development trainer and coach who specializes in both brain-based coaching (to facilitate improved thinking) and skills-based training– the art of interpersonal effectiveness and communication (public speaking, presenting, pitching, networking and one-on-one communicating).  My accreditations come from Dale Carnegie Training and The NeuroLeadership Group (click on About Jackie Kellso to view my resume).

5. Show gratitude:  thank the other person for his/her time, for listening and learning about you.  Then ask to exchange cards and for permission to make contact.

Many people fear stating their strengths because they fear it will come off as bragging. But it isn’t. You have the right to feel good about the results of your hard work and your sharpened skills.  You have the right to tell others that you are good at what you do. Your business depends on your ability to communicate effectively.  And, when you let others discover you, they benefit from knowing you (or at the least know people who could use your services).

So remember — you must come from strength to successfully communicate your strengths.

Humbly yours,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What Would Dale Carnegie Think of Humanity in the 21st Century?

Dale Carnegie’s 30 Human Relations Principles were available to the world in 1936. They were introduced in his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” which still reigns as the almighty in guiding people to value and act with humanity.  I owe Mr. Carnegie so much personally for how his brand of goodness has changed my life for the better, and will continue to be his champion until I leave the planet.

Not that I can pretend to know if he would have tweaked his principles for a world in which texting has replaced an actual conversation, but I will try to imagine what additional principles he might have added on to include the world we now live in. Assume the first 30 principles are still in tact, as is.

31.  Turn off hand-held devices when in the company of another human being.  Engage!

32. Be respectful, compassionate and responsible in honoring diversity: race, gender, sexual-orientation, ethnicity, culture, religion and politics.

33. Use cell phones in public only for emergencies.  Honor others needs for peace, quiet and space.

34. Ask for help when you don’t understand.  People love feeling that they have something to offer.

35. Offer personal help and support whenever and wherever you can.  You can forever change someone’s life with the smallest action and also become part of the “Pay it Forward” cycle in which someone will come to your aid.

36. Be generous about introducing people to others in your network.

37. When in a conversation, make direct eye contact and listen to understand.

38. Take full responsibility for your own feelings — never blame others for your circumstances.

39. Recognize the greatness in others and allow them to influence you.

40. Apologize, even when you have inadvertently hurt another’s feelings.

41. Build and look to work with teams of smart, devoted, dignified people who have complementary strengths to your own.

42. Say what you mean, be honest, and clear about your intentions.

43. Read the first 30 principles over and over and over.

Happy “Winning Friends and Influencing People,”

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Smart Business Networking: Show Interest in Others First

I met a professional image consultant recently, who’d had her own successful business for some time. I was eager to discuss the industry and to share experiences with her, thinking I was in for a wonderful conversation!  I enthusiastically asked, “When did you discover that this was your calling?”  She smiled, clearly delighted with the question.  Unfortunately, for the next three to four minutes, she didn’t stop talking about herself — not once — to include me, and went on and on about herself.

Suddenly, she turned her head to the left, then back at me, and said, “You know, I’d like to hear this.” She then turned her body away from me and joined another conversation. Just like that.  A little lack of social grace?  Self-absorption, perhaps? I laughed later that evening; shortly after our encounter I was introduced as the guest speaker of the event.  At the end of my presentation she ran over to me and asked for my business card to talk some ‘alliance we might form.’ It was too late. I simply said, “Sorry, I’m all out of cards.  May I have yours?”

This was probably the rudest situation I’d encountered at a networking function, but the truth is that most people don’t show genuine interest in the people they are meeting.  Their goal is to obtain business cards, which is a backwards pursuit.  I assure you, no one sets-out to be your business connection.  There has to be a perceived pay-off.  So, it’s best to start off on the right foot and make the effort to build new alliances.

Here are some tips to successfully meet and make quality connections:

1. First show curiosity — ask the other person questions about  him/herself before you try and talk about you.

2. Ask meaningful questions that are deeper than just, “Where do you work?”  Find out what motivates, inspires and drives the other person.

3. Offer help and support.  Once you have some information, you might know someone who can assist him/her along the path. This way, you can become a follow-up item on his/her to-do list.  Smart, heh?

Invite people to speak about themselves, first.  Your turn to talk about yourself will come and the wait will be worth it.

Happy networking!

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.