Jackie Kellso

Posts Tagged ‘conflict’

Use Your Bereavement to Become Your Best Self

In acceptance, awareness, benefit of the doubt, bereavement, Best Self, compassion, grief, healing, loss of beloved pet, memories, Uncategorized, vulnerability on August 27, 2018 at 5:35 pm

Rubie Sunning

My husband and I just put our beloved 18-year old cat, Rubie, to sleep. Although she is no longer suffering, our suffering is at moments, unbearable. This is the grieving process and we understand that we are honoring Rubie, and ourselves, by letting our bereavement run its course.

And as always with me, I think about what I can learn from my pain. In this case, and especially as a coach who helps other people, it’s heightened my awareness of being kind to others who are demonstrating negative attitudes and behaviors that turn me off: they may just be having a bad day, as in grieving a loved one. Or, perhaps in conflict with a co-worker; maxed out about the ongoing political nightmare we are facing, or may have an illness; a child who is under-performing in school.

The point is that the heightened sensitivity of a broken heart is the perfect time to sympathize and empathize with others — to give them the benefit of the doubt — instead of judging, criticizing or berating attitudes and behaviors that we don’t like. Underneath those negative things we perceive, may lie a host of personal issues that are keeping people from being appealing to us.

People walk around without self-awareness. They have unresolved anger from childhood, or a terrible boss, or not meeting financial obligations. It just doesn’t matter. What matters is that your pain may be an opportunity to be your best self, and give you the strength to see the goodness, the pain and the true person (beyond how they represent themselves on the outside).

Imagine that when the bereavement has passed, and only the good memories of your beloved one lives on, that during the time of your grief you may have made someone’s day easier; shown compassion in new ways, and even helped someone heal, by using your own vulnerability to make you wiser.

Warmest wishes,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Photo:  “Rubie Sunbathing” is the property of Jackie Kellso.  Copying or distributing this photo is prohibited.

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How to Handle Opposing Political Views at Work

In anger management, anxiety, arguments, avoiding arguments, breakdown in communication, building rapport, bullies at work, business relationships, change, Change the Subject, communication, communication skills, conflict resolution, keep negativity to yourself, political beliefs, politics, sharing political views at work, Uncategorized on December 8, 2016 at 6:21 pm

You are thrilled that Trump won. Or, you’re horrified. It doesn’t matter; trying to be right and fighting for your beliefs in this extremely divided climate isn’t good for healthy work relations.

Sure, you and a team of co-workers may be in agreement, and you feel relatively secure speaking your mind with them. But, not only is it likely that there’s the one or the few or the many within hearing range of your political conversations; those people may end up causing you and your friends some very undesirable consequences.

What I mean is that most people already don’t handle conflict well in the workplace. I’m talking about the kind of conflict that arises out of a need for power, control and to be right, which plays itself out with things like: how to handle a client, who should lead a project, etc. What’s erupting now is a type of conflict that arouses hate and vitriol, hence what’s happening on our streets. The stakes are extremely high and walls between folks are being fortified. So, the goal here is to not mix political views with business needs. Avoid creating a hostile environment that will make being at work unnecessarily impossible.

So, what do you do if you are hearing political views that you find despicable?

  1. Concentrate on the common ground you have with the person on the work-front. In what ways do you need to cooperate? Focus on the work.
  2. Remind yourself that everyone is coming from their unique experience and has the right to an opinion without being told, “You’re wrong.”
  3. Remember that no matter how factually correct you can prove yourself to be, the office is not the place to persuade people to change their political views.
  4. See yourself as tolerant. Behave with tolerance. This is what a great leader does.
  5. Remove yourself from political conversations that could disturb others. Tell your friends that you don’t want to inadvertently alienate anyone and want to stick with work-related topics.

Whether you’re anticipating that great things will unfold or are scared to death by what is happening, remember that we are truly all in this together and are all going through change. At the least, you can play your part in keeping your workplace a safe place.

Wishing us all the best,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.