Linked IN Activities Reveal Our People Skills

Let’s face it; we’re not all on Linked IN for the same reasons. Some of us are pretty secure in our jobs – the reason to have a profile is to market current status, relevance and expertise (and you still never know what better opportunity might come along!). Some of us are job hunting. Some are entrepreneurs looking to make connections for business. Some are sellers who are looking for their next customer. Some are marketing books, networking events, business opportunities.

And when we launch Linked IN every morning from our computers or iPads, it’s pretty obvious who‘s working it — the way social media promises it will work: with enough frequency and reach, articles, statistics, news, etc, will help get a return on investment.

A major benefit of Linked IN, of course, (and the best way to get ROI) is to forge solid connections with others. Here’s where I’ve personally noticed the strengths and limits of our ‘social media’ interpersonal skills. Some of us are very responsive to others and some are not.  I have had great success on Linked IN in building rapport, relationships and business, and in some cases I have made contact (with primary connections) and have had no response.

Here’s a sampling of typical requests that many of us make, with the sincere hope of getting a response:

1. May I ask for a reference?
2. May I offer you a free workshop at your next event?
3. I would love to learn about your business challenges/goals to see you how my services might improve the situation/grow your business/support your efforts.
4. Hello! We haven’t connected in awhile and I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing.
5. Hey, someone else in our network contacted me, before I say yes, what is your experience with him?
6. Thank you for connecting with me! Can we meet for coffee to learn more about our businesses, and see how we can support one another?

People are busy and over-committed. And it’s a job in and of itself to manage a social media network! I get it. So when I don’t hear back (occasional, but not the norm, thankfully) I don’t take it personally and I surmise that:

1. They may not want to hear from me (despite the fact that they have said yes to being connected).

2. They may be happy to hear from me but don’t know how to say, “NO.”

3. They may consider my note not worth their time and effort.

4. They may not be looking for someone with my services.

Whatever the reason for a non-response, I feel that the nature of social media makes it easy to de-sensitize us to others. Maybe it’s the lack of eye contact or human voice? A flat profile cannot possibly feel as real as direct interaction with a person, after all. Maybe we are all just so inundated with requests from our networks that it just takes too much time and effort to respond?

Whatever the reason, I believe that we should communication online in a way that mirrors the way we communicate in person. That is, to be personable, approachable and aware of the perception we create, by the way we respond to others.

Linked IN is a community of people who are trying to survive and thrive. Everyone. That means that everyone is a potential reference.  The person who has considered you to be important, has reached out with hope of opening a door. And even if you have to say, “No,” it is still acknowledging your receipt of the message, at the very least.

Friends, colleagues: please consider that if you’re going to grow a large network, expect people to make contact and expect to be sought after. So, take a few minutes to write back. You never know when you might need something from someone in your network and only hope you’ll get a reply.

I don’t mean to sound preachy, not trying to teach anyone a lesson; just reacting to an overall experience that has made me consider that social media has the potential to diminish our ability to relate to others and eat-away at our people skills.

In the bigger picture, we all need each other to be successful. In my humble opinion, kindness and generosity have a Pay-it-Forward energy that could yield surprising support for us all!

So the next time someone writes to you, think that the other person could be you reaching out for support, advice, a reference, a moment of their time.  Then hit reply.

Happy connecting!

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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The Entrepreneur’s Fight to Survive As an Army of One

Hello You Army of One.

This morning I found this post on a Business Women’s Facebook page: “Feeling a bit overwhelmed, like I’m an island out in the middle of the ocean all by my self. Trying hard to get some momentum but feel like I’m on a hamster wheel…” –K.

I am relating. I am a savvy, hard-working, devoted entrepreneur using Linked In, Twitter, Facebook, etc…to market myself using social media; promote my unique value proposition, evaluate the results of my marketing, analyze what’s working, what’s not, and reaching out to existing contacts, asking clients for referrals — consistently looking to build a smart, large network of potential connections that will lead to new business.

We ‘Armies of One’ are the CEOs, the executive assistants, the PR people, marketing directors, blog writers, visionaries and designers of products/services; delivering goods to customers in-between all of the other duties that should be delegated to an entire team. And then there’s the networking, networking, networking.

It’s exhausting. Then we see these articles from the rich ‘success’ stories plastered all over the walls of Linked IN with advice on how we too can get rich.  How they did it through passion, belief in themselves, being an expert, having a superior product/service, working and obsessing 30 hours a day 8 days a week.  If only they could tell us what makes us any different. Well, they can’t.

Then we have the specialists for hire who have built their own businesses targeting YOU.  They promise to help you build an audience, generate leads, connect you…people who know how to do all of this better, quicker.  Well, it takes money to hire help. And with so many, whom do you trust with your precious few dollars?

The principles of advertising are to spend in order to generate revenue.  Yeah, take out a second mortgage?  Not eat?  It’s not enough that you are a skilled veteran of knowledge and experience with a phenomenal C.V. and so much value that you can be the go-to-expert of many, if they’d just find you and hire you!

I want proof that I’m on a trajectory that will reach my long-term financial goals and help me see that I am not on a hamster wheel, even if it’s a slow progression.  If only the ebbs were few and the flows were the norm!

An option is to view the bigger picture as a spiritual journey.  We are discovering patience, the limits of our comfort zones and frankly, how much we can tolerate being in a sea of thousands of other entrepreneurs who do what we do, and for those of us who are not Millenials, to progess with technology.   We must still have the courage to believe that abundance is available to all – no one can eclipse us, we will get ours anyway! This isn’t as comforting as we’d like it to feel. We are still overwhelmed, experiencing the agony of possible defeat, isolated and unsure of when the wheel of fortune will bless us because we’ve worked hard enough.

Today I couldn’t think of anything else to write.  I just wanted to talk to you, dear army of one, to say I’m in it too and if in the bigger picture of my life that this moment teaches me that I can get through the day, focus on something productive, breathe, go to the gym, count my blessings, and remain staunchly hopeful, then I am doing what I’ve hired myself to do.

Marching onward,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Good News about Being a Square Peg in a Round Hole

You’re 25, 35, 45, 55, 65.  Your work is excellent regardless of your position. You are skilled, qualified, effective.  You’re making positive impact towards the bottom line for your employer.  You’re not perfect, but you’re fundamentally a nice, kind, quality human being.  Yet, somehow people judge you, misunderstand your intentions, or simply don’t like or trust you:  there’s a look in their eyes as if you have two heads and your skin is blue.  They blame you for the way you say or do things.  They are intolerant of your being different from them.

You feel like the oddball and cannot blend in with the group.  This is a known stress-inducing thing, in fact, David Rock of the NeuroLeadership Institute calls this a ‘lack of relatedness’ that professionals feel.  It causes a threat reaction in the brain, which can fuel the problem and lead to behaviors that further separate us from the group mentality (i.e., withdrawing, arguing, appeasing others, etc…).

I am a square peg.  My entire career, no matter what employer, I am plagued with being so different as to stir the pot, having experienced a host of things from being bullied, to being ostracized, being fired, being gossiped about, you name it.  However, I am so efficient and good at my job that this is never the issue that surfaces.  No one ever blamed me for being incompetent.  I’m just not like the others.

I’ve come to take responsibility for this and see myself as a catalyst.  I am a lightening rod.  I ignite a riot.  I have a strong, assertive energy that makes some people very uncomfortable.  I am honest and direct.  I am confident.  I have a way of working that gets results but is not the norm.  It rattles people who follow the rules and blend in. Now, none of this disqualifies me from having to practice all of my beloved techniques in human relations, communication, leadership and holding myself accountable when I do wrong, but it is a quality that I cannot change because it’s so fundamental to my presence and my spirit.  And I endure because there are people who see my value and embrace my differences.

Does this sound like you, dear friend?  If so, start thinking of yourself as a catalyst that wakes people up.  From a much higher perspective, you and your big energy are mirrors for others to have their own limits kicked-up, and when they are mature enough to take accountability for that, they get to change for the better. (And sometimes they pursue professional development coaches when they do! :)) And if they don’t they don’t – it’s a conscious choice to wake-up or not.  Just know they will always play the role as your Guru, reminding you to be okay with being different. Until then, sadly, you get to be blamed for their discomfort.  Know that some of the time you possess qualities that make them want to push you away, only because they cannot be like you.  How about them apples!

In fact, entrepreneurs are frequently people who are so tired of not being a fit, they leap off to be their own bosses, create their own gigs and work in more autonomous scenarios.  I am one of these, yet always mindful that clients can draw the square peg out of me and I have to be mindful that I am hired to be of service and to get along.

Do not fret, square one.  Round holes are good for your soul.  They help to refine and develop you in a way that allows you to get on with your life; get along in the world even when it’s awkward.  It becomes a life-long workout of blending in to make your life work.  It gives you the objectivity to choose how to behave so that you are being your best.  Good news is that round holes can never demand you to fundamentally change.  You are like the horse that is given water but cannot be made to drink it. Enjoy your power.

Squarely yours,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.