You’ve heard the expression. It means blocking ourselves from promotions, financial independence, loving relationships, good health, etc., and is creating personal chaos, conflict and unhappiness. Gary Zukov, author of best-selling book, “Seat of The Soul,” might say, and I paraphrase, getting out of one’s way means to align one’s personality with one’s spirit.
The question is, how? Think of this metaphor: just as Michelangelo had to carve into a slab of marble to access his famous David, we must chip away at those parts of ourselves — thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions — self-made layers that over time have blocked access to our spirits.
Stuff to chip away: low self-esteem, lack of fulfillment and/or purpose, anxiety, fear, living only in the comfort zone, addiction, isolation, inferiority or superiority complex, aggression, passivity…a host of reactions to life and personal myths (about who we really are) that diminish the spirit.
The trouble is, we believe these myths and don’t typically question their validity. There has been much written to help us out get of trouble. Byron Katie has written, The Work. In it she probes us to ask ourselves if our thoughts are based in fact or fiction. Albert Ellis’ methodology called, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, helps us become cerebral and learn now to rephrase our thoughts and emotions instead of being prisoner to them. Daniel Goleman has written many books on what he calls, Emotional Intelligence, and how our self-awareness and awareness of others launches inner change and teaches us how to evolve out of old patterns. David Rock, founder of The NeuroLeadership Institute, teaches about the brain, and how when triggered into threat (real or perceived) we react in predictable ‘hard-wired’ ways that undermine our ability to be as highly functional as we can be.
Even with the highest level of motivation, this ‘chipping away’ takes focus and time, but is thankfully something within our control: our ability to stop our thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions from blocking us.
1. Make it a priority to align your personality and spirit.
2. Journal about the thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions that are non-you and need to be chipped away.
3. Take a hard and objective look at what stays and what goes, based on your goals.
4. Allow yourself to be motivated by people who are ”walking the walk”.
5. Have the courage to let go of what you don’t need anymore.
6. Observe how others are getting in their own way.
7. As you see it falling away, thank the old stuff for protecting you in the past.
8. Enjoy the opportunity to make positive impact on others.
9. Look for relationships that are supportive to this strengthened yet vulnerable you.
10. Become transparent – let others know you are actively transforming yourself.
Getting out of your own way is a very powerful, life-affirming, self-loving act. It brings meaning and depth to our lives and brings us closer to fulfilling our life’s purpose. In the words of Zen Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh, “Our own life has to be our message.”
Onwards and upwards,
Jackie
You may also find a reprint of this article on Find the Masters blog: http://blog.findthemasters.com/how-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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