Jackie Kellso

Posts Tagged ‘questions’

Bad Metaphors Can Kill a Conversation

In analogies, communicating, communication, communication skills, culture, delivering a powerful message, diplomacy and tact, improve communication, interpersonal skills, metaphors, pick your brain, psychology, self-awareness, similes, speaking, Uncategorized on January 5, 2021 at 9:21 pm

There are many ways to skin a cat. We can kill two birds with one stone. I’d like to pick your brain. It’s a dog eat dog world. Don’t leave me hanging. We understand culturally what these metaphors represent, but have we considered that they reference violence?

Just last week a client of mine was explaining a training technique he uses for his students and explained how ‘there are many ways to skin a cat’ when it comes to teaching. I hadn’t heard that expression in a long time and I felt myself cringe. Being a cat lover – an animal lover – I immediately pictured a cat being skinned and cut him off. “Do you like cats?” I asked. “Yes, I love them,” he said. I replied, “Great, then think about that image for a second.” He laughed and said, “Wow, I never even thought about it.” Then he said, “Well, can I pick your brain about how to rephrase this?” YIPES! So I said, “Yes, you can ask me a question, and there are multiple ways to complete a task. How about those as examples?”

We have these sayings that are out-dated, but we use them without even thinking about it. Some may think me too sensitive, but my guess is that if we all stop and think about what we’re saying, and how others might react, we will stop using these phrases and explore new, safer ways of communicating.

Analogies, similes and metaphors are brilliant ways to ensure that our listeners understand our messages and their meanings. Just beware that some familiar sayings may leave people with a bad taste in their mouths.

Mindfully yours,

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Responses to Questions about How to Deal with a Bullying Boss

In anger management, arguments, Ask Jackie, asking open-ended questions, bullies at work, bullies in the office, bullies in the workplace, bullying, Bullying Boss, communication, communication skills, conflict resolution, Deal with Bullying Boss, dealing with a male boss, Detach & Breathe, diplomacy and tact, disagree agreeably, insecure bosses, managing conflict, managing emotions at work, open-ended questions, people skills, personal power, professional boundaries, remaining calm, Uncategorized on February 6, 2017 at 4:31 pm

The new video in response to questions about the previous video >>>>

The original video, “How to Deal with a Bullying Boss.” >>>>

I received many responses in support of the original, but I also had questions about how I handled the boss from unsatisfied viewers.  Ideally, I would have been able to demonstrate how to change my boss, gain power over the situation, and fix the problem  – but none of these were what I was trying to convey.  Instead, the idea was to empower people to act and think in ways that don’t end up back-firing on them.  This is because we can never control anyone but ourselves.

The goal of the original video was to:

  1. Show how to ask open-ended questions instead of becoming defensive (as in the 1st version of that video).
  2. Use a mantra to try and calm — Detach & Breathe — to clearly and remain in control of my emotions.
  3. Remain friendly towards the boss; to remind him that I’m an ally.
  4. Agree on how to move forward, and in this case, to handle the situation on my own, taking another risk, but deciding it was the only way to proceed.

It’s also important to note that there are many variances in levels of bullying.  This situation was dealing with a bully who is overly sensitive to criticism, fearful for his job, emotionally out of control and in turn victimizes others without giving the benefit of the doubt.  Basically, a pain in the butt!

That being said, there is bullying going on out there that is pure harassment and can cause severe emotional distress to the point of disabling one from managing work and life.  If this is happening to you, please seek legal counsel and professional counseling.

I hope you find these explanations helpful.  Please stay safe out there.

Jackie

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.