In “Gone With the Wind,” Rhett Butler walks out on Scarlett O’Hara as she pleads with him, “What shall I do?” He says, of course, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

So Scarlett, moving her thoughts from her limbic system (or emotional brain) engages her pre-frontal cortex (the thinking part of her brain) to tell herself,  “I can’t think about this now, I’ll go crazy if I do. I’ll think about it tomorrow.” She then reflects on her home, Tara, the home and foundation of her life, and it lifts her spirit.  At the end of “Gone With the Wind,” we don’t worry about Scarlett’s future. We know she’s got enough will and optimism to move forward – with or without Rhett.

I’m now Rhett Butler-ing DOUBT.  And it’s shouting back, “What shall I do?” as I abandon it, my dysfunctional companion. I’m leaving it because I’ve been practicing the brain-based coaching methods on myself that have been helping so many others.

For me, doubt had a stronghold on my thinking. It would say things to me like, “See?  I told you so,” when things went awry.  When plans fell apart.  When life took unexpected and uninvited turns that left me questioning everything.

Doubt lies within a network of neural paths, carved out for self-preservation. It’s a hard-wired energy that is released when something is triggered that tells us to set our sights low and keep from being disappointed.  It protects us from a feared fall from Grace.  Other than that, it doesn’t really exist unless we put faith in it.

So, I say, “Doubt, but I’ll go crazy if I think about you anymore.  I don’t need your protection against what I can’t see.  I don’t need you to prove your point when things don’t go my way.”  Here’s why:  I’ve learned that every experience is good because it builds character; it presents me with options; it brings me lessons that are for my betterment.

As in the movie, Tara is a metaphor for much of what happens in life. It’s a dream where people live under the illusion that they are protected from uncertainty. Change happens. And we see how there is no ‘there’ there except in the heart of its guardian, Scarlett O’Hara. So, too, I’m the guardian of my dream and the foundation of my making.  My Tara is being built not from doubt, but from the lessons, demands of the times, and the impact of these experiences upon me. Doubt will not be taking up residence with me.  Instead, faith is my biggest share-holder and there will always be room for guests who need a vacation from doubt.

Frankly my dears,

Jackie

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