Jackie Kellso

Posts Tagged ‘spiritual awakening’

Bless Those Career Woes; They Have a Supporting Role in Your Play

In bullies at work, bullies in the office, bullies in the workplace, business relationships, career, career coaching, career path, career-related problems, coaching, communicating, communication, communication skills, conflict resolution, consulting, coping with pressure at work, dealing with a difficult coworker, diplomacy and tact, effective communicating, executive coaching, executives, handling tough boss, inner peace, interpersonal skills, job seeking, jobs, journey, leadership, life skills, life's path, manage stress at work, managing, managing conflict, managing emotions at work, negativity at work, office politics, path, people skills, personal development, personal growth, professional behavior, professional development, professional development training, self-esteem, self-help, self-image, spiritual awakening, spiritual growth, spiritual journey, training, transformation, Uncategorized, work-related problems on September 7, 2013 at 5:25 pm

The world is flooded with consultants, coaches, trainers and lecturers who help professionals become confident leaders, effective communicators, managers of conflict and change, business builders who beat out the competition and who earn lots and lots of money.  The web is flooded with expertise.  Bookstore shelves are lined with words from the wise, those who promise tools for the achievement of massive success.

Why do so many professionals seek this type of help? Because the part of life we call “WORK” is a massive TRIGGER that shakes us up to ask ourselves things like:  Why didn’t I get the promotion? What makes me unique?  What is my vision?  Why can’t I get along with coworkers? How do I motivate others? Am I good enough?  Do I deserve success?

WORK awakens us to who we are, if we dare look beyond the surface. WORK is a playground for enlightenment, for the opportunity to see how we really operate, how others perceive us; to have our fears become magnified and reflect back messages that tell us exactly what is holding us back in our lives.  WORK delivers definitive proof that we have no control of anyone or anything other than what we do and what we say.

The point is this:  the exercise of being in a job, regardless of what it is, or how many times we switch focus — we are on a journey of learning about ourselves.  A career is an outward path to an inward journey.

Along my 23 years in media, I had the same boss over and over again, no matter what the job or the company, with few exceptions.  The boss who would battle me and cringe in my presence and avoid me and and act out in less than professional ways in not knowing how best to deal with me.

I have a big energy and strong drive and I like working independently.  A friend who knows me for 25 years says that I, “Incite a riot,” meaning, that when unharnessed, my energy can be a catalyst that makes people feel uncomfortable.  Those managers who didn’t have insight and self-control used their authority against me.  I battled them and I always lost.  I blamed them and played the perfect victim.  I was miserable.  I couldn’t understand why I kept having the same boss over and over and over.  I couldn’t get off the hamster wheel.

Then one day a dear and insightful friend suggested that I surrender.  That I accept my role, my managers’ roles and respect the hierarchy; to open myself to what being in a corporate world is – playing a function in a company.  That I didn’t own anything, not a stapler, not an idea, not a client – it was all owned by the organization.  I was getting paid for my function and it was a mutually beneficial arrangement.

That’s when I realized what my real job was – to heal.  After much introspection and hard work I came to understand that I was striving for self-preservation and I was using the same modes of coping behavior I had learned as a child.  Some of this behavior earned me great results – lots of revenue for my employers – but the cost was almighty on me, as I was also so high-maintenance.  As a result of the time I spent to analyze myself and build skills in dealing with these work-related situations, I found inner peace and a purpose. I changed careers so that I could help others heal and grow. I designed my life to have the love and support I need.

I now bless those experiences and those managers of mine. I thank them for contracting with me to push me along my journey towards self-actualization.  Without them I may never have healed or found the path I’m on now, which is aligned with who I’ve become.

Our career paths are cosmic gifts that help us move beyond who we are, not because they are designed to, but because they connect us with the teachers and lessons we need to be able to move on. On the surface, it all looks like WORK.  On a higher plane, it’s a spiritual path of enlightenment.

Look at the places of unhappiness at work.  When you hold up the mirror, that is, the unpleasant or negative or threatening circumstances that are taking place at work, what is being reflected back at you?  Take that reflection and think about the play you are starring in called, “MY LIFE.”  These bosses, these co-workers, these situations, have supporting roles in your play.  Let’s give them a standing ovation.

Happy Journeying,


Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


How To Get Out of Your Own Way

In brain-based coaching, coaching, empowerment, get out of your own way, life skills, personal development, personal growth, self-esteem, self-help, self-image, spiritual awakening, spiritual growth, transformation, Uncategorized on June 24, 2013 at 8:24 pm

You’ve heard the expression.  It means blocking ourselves from promotions, financial independence, loving relationships, good health, etc., and is creating personal chaos, conflict and unhappiness.  Gary Zukov, author of best-selling book, “Seat of The Soul,” might say, and I paraphrase, getting out of one’s way means to align one’s personality with one’s spirit.

The question is, how?  Think of this metaphor:  just as Michelangelo had to carve into a slab of marble to access his famous David, we must chip away at those parts of ourselves — thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions — self-made layers that over time have blocked access to our spirits.

Stuff to chip away:  low self-esteem, lack of fulfillment and/or purpose, anxiety, fear, living only in the comfort zone, addiction, isolation, inferiority or superiority complex, aggression, passivity…a host of reactions to life and personal myths (about who we really are) that diminish the spirit.

The trouble is, we believe these myths and don’t typically question their validity. There has been much written to help us out get of trouble. Byron Katie has written, The Work. In it she probes us to ask ourselves if our thoughts are based in fact or fiction. Albert Ellis’ methodology called, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, helps us become cerebral and learn now to rephrase our thoughts and emotions instead of being prisoner to them. Daniel Goleman has written many books on what he calls, Emotional Intelligence, and how our self-awareness and awareness of others launches inner change and teaches us how to evolve out of old patterns.  David Rock, founder of The NeuroLeadership Institute, teaches about the brain, and how when triggered into threat (real or perceived) we react in predictable ‘hard-wired’ ways that undermine our ability to be as highly functional as we can be.

Even with the highest level of motivation, this ‘chipping away’ takes focus and time, but is thankfully something within our control: our ability to stop our thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions from blocking us.

1. Make it a priority to align your personality and spirit.

2. Journal about the thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions that are non-you and need to be chipped away.

3. Take a hard and objective look at what stays and what goes, based on your goals.

4. Allow yourself to be motivated by people who are ”walking the walk”.

5. Have the courage to let go of what you don’t need anymore.

6. Observe how others are getting in their own way.

7. As you see it falling away, thank the old stuff for protecting you in the past.

8. Enjoy the opportunity to make positive impact on others.

9. Look for relationships that are supportive to this strengthened yet vulnerable you.

10. Become transparent – let others know you are actively transforming yourself.

Getting out of your own way is a very powerful, life-affirming, self-loving act.  It brings meaning and depth to our lives and brings us closer to fulfilling our life’s purpose.  In the words of Zen Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh, “Our own life has to be our message.”

Onwards and upwards,


You may also find a reprint of this article on Find the Masters blog:  http://blog.findthemasters.com/how-to-get-out-of-your-own-way

Copyright, PointMaker Communications, Inc., 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jackie Kellso and PointMaker Communications, Inc., with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.